How to Deal with Rude Comments

We’ve all been there. Someone blindsides you with an absolute zinger that doesn’t come from a good place. You stand there, gaping and gasping for an answer (and air) and then you finally think up an answer a week later. Gasp no more, here are the answers (literally) to every possible crass comment. Apply them liberally and with a serene smile.

Are you ready?

This is actually more about the insecurities of the askee – they’ve had an empathy fail and can’t imagine being in your shoes. Don’t be too harsh here, just say you’re confident and in no doubt whatsoever and neither is your fiancé. Don’t hedge, keep it brief, flash a smile and mentally flip the bird.

This marriage won’t last

This usually comes from someone with a string of failed relationships behind them and is a big ol’ projection. You should airily say that you’ve learned from other people’s mistakes and leave the comment hanging.

That’s a long engagement

Some older people worry about long engagements stalling, so this is another comment that you should treat more kindly. Explain that you’re saving $X amount and your favourite vendors and venue are booked up until next year. Reassure them that it’s all in hand and it’s just the way it is now.

Was that the only ring left in the shop?

Seriously. This has been said. Your eyes will water with the sour tones, but rise above it and remember that the engagement or wedding ring is a visible sign of the commitment the person may be lacking in their life. You should remove the attention from the ring, as it isn’t the real problem, and say that you’re happy and excited and that you wish the same for them one day.

Who’s paying for this?

You need to channel your inner self here, as this is seriously rude. Pause to let the question hang in the air, then say that these details are not for public consumption. If the person is asking about the cost of individual services or items because she’s planning her own wedding, then this is fair game and you can answer and advise if you want.

Am I invited?

Not so much rude as clumsy, so be gentle. This question could be from a neighbour or colleague, or an acquaintance who loves a party. If they’re going to be invited, tell them hell to the yeah. If not, say you’re keeping to a strict budget and have to have a lean guest list.

 

 

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