Dos and Don’ts for Grooms

Let’s keep this brief!

It’s all about the missus

She gets to decide on the date, the colour scheme, the flowers and the sherbet fountain. You should support her on this, sort any problems and keep annoying people away from her.

Having said that…

If there’s something you really don’t like, then suggest an alternative. If you do decide to go along with it, however, then be a man about it and don’t bring it up every time you have a row.

Be careful with your best man

Yeah, you’ve known him since you were both three, but if you know he tends to “lose” his trousers after his fourth drink, come on…

Have a manicure

Everyone loves your rough and ready look, but it’s your wedding day and even your goth cousin is promising to nix the backcombing for one day. Get your hair and beard done, tidy your nails. It’s for your gran, mate…

Behave on your stag night

Anything else just isn’t classy. Really. No-one finds it cute.

Edit your speech

Write it, sack off the rudest jokes, then edit out the slightly less rude ones, then replace them with some thank yous. Then compliment your mother-in-law and thank her for producing your wife.

This works.

Take a strategic drive with your best man

Try out the best routes to your venue so you’re not foxed on the big day.

Eat a hearty breakfast

No condemned man jokes here… You need a good, filling breakfast to see you through the day and to avoid the alcohol going straight to your head.

Dance with the wife

You don’t have to do one of those flash-dance-mob things; a basic but sincere shuffle will do. If you’re nervous, make sure you tell the MC to summon everyone else halfway through your song.


Don’t worry too much about, errr, fulfilling any duties on your first night as man and wife. You’d be surprised by how many couples just flake out after a long and exhausting day.

Speak to as many people as possible

You may not manage to speak to everyone, but make sure you don’t get stuck with those people who won’t let you go. Do make some polite excuses and move on.

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